The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Terrible idea I love it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
