You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
