My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
