I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
