Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
