So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
