it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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