So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
