Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
