I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
