My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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