maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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