I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I wear drunk well.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
try to milk me bitch
Randomize