I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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