can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
