there was a trapeze. enough said
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
