I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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