It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
