basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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