Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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