Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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