they need to just BURY HIM!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
