She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
