don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
