I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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