I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize