lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
