On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
