Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
