In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When are your genitals available?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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