Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
