I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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