So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
