Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
