jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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