these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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