In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
