Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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