If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
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