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you guys were way drunker than both of me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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