We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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