Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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