some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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