I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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