I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
