i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
