we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
