Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
