so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
