im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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