Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I would fuck him just for his dog
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
