I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize