Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize