does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
