Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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