thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
