drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
