Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He passed out mid-signature
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
