Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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